Face-to-Face with Chantal Poitras

My name is Chantal Poitras. I am 31 years old and I live in Fredericton, New-Brunswick. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). When Mental illness came into my life in 2005, I felt that my life was falling apart. This is when I realized that something was wrong with me, but what? At the beginning, I was told that I suffered from a mild depression, due to my job and various events that happened that year.

I got over it, found another job, but still, something was not quite right with me. My behavior was often erratic and my suicidal thoughts were constantly present. A friend then told me about BPD and said that many of my behaviors seemed to fit the description I gave her. I started to do some research on the Internet. I read everything I could find on BPD. I finally had to admit it to myself. I probably had BPD.

In 2010, I went to see a psychologist. I told her I suspected I had BPD. She asked me to do several tests and came to the conclusion that indeed, I had BPD with depression, anxiety and aggressiveness. However, it was only in January 2012 that this diagnosis was added to my medical file. Now, I can finally have the appropriate therapy for BPD, a group therapy named STEPPS.

Recovery is possible, but you have to work hard. You have to seek the help that works for you. The first step I took towards my own recovery was to send an email to the Canadian Mental Health Association in my area. I felt lost, I did not know where to find the help I needed and they took care of me. They knocked on doors for me when I did not have the strength to do it myself. It is important to talk to someone who can help you find the help you need, if you are not able do it for yourself.

Living with mental illness is difficult, yet not impossible. Life can still be beautiful, but you have to accept that there will always be ups and downs, more so than for most people. You can still accomplish great things, have a full time job, a family and friends, and most important, you can realize your dreams. However, you must seek help, always continue therapy treatments, even if sometimes it is hell; it takes time, but eventually, hope returns.